Discipline

Right away the Lord is speaking directly to me - Isaiah 1:10, 16-20 talks about letting go of the sinful ways, correcting what has gone wrong, and doing poorly no more. I ask for God to speak to me about what I should do, and I get vs. 10, which says, "Hear the word of the Lord, princes of Sodom! Listen to the instruction of our God, people of Gomorrah!" Katie! Wake up and listen, cause this one's for you! Vs. 16, "Wash yourselves clean! Put away your misdeeds from before my eyes; cease doing evil; learn to do good. Make justice your aim: redress the wronged...(19) If you are willing, and obey, you shall eat the good things of the land;" This speaks to me, saying, "Katie, its time to do more than just say, 'yes I know this is what I should do or need to do' - get up and make it happen!" Ok, I understand. Its time for me to quit my bad habits and start putting into action all the things I tell myself I really should do: more money in my savings, eating better, working out on a regular basis, be productive, pray, read, grow...I can do these things.

On a side note about my quiet prayer time/blogging: I need to find a different place to meditate. I love my home, its very charming and homey, but I find that I turn off all systems when I get home. I'm not encouraged to reflect or read, even though the reading materials that I DESIRE to read are vast right now. Somewhere I can read, reflect, type and perhaps sip a cup of coffee while doing so. Brainstorming will be required for this task - suggestions are accepted as well. If I had my own porch I think this would be a terrific place to go! When I close my eyes I can picture my parent's house and my father sitting on the front porch in the mornings, drinking coffee. There's something peaceful and inviting about this memory, and I will cherish it forever!

I haven't been sleeping well lately - it seems for the past 2 weeks or so I wake up countless times in the night and toss and turn and cannot go back to sleep. I wake up tired, drained and lacking energy. I wish I knew why this is.

I haven't seen Eric in what feels like forever. Our spring breaks (since we teach in different districts) were different weeks this year, and we've spent most of the last 2 weeks apart. I miss him terribly. I long and look forward to the near future where we will be able to spend some quiet time together and just be in each others' presence. I always thought I was happy before-turns out I didn't know what happiness was until after he came along. He makes my heart swell.

I got a new bike yesterday! Craigslist for $40!!! Its a retro 10-speed with the curved handle bars in front! I'm so excited to start my morning routine of riding my bike - OUTSIDE - in the mornings. Although I feel I'm in a low spot right now, I am embracing this wonderful weather we're having, and it helps bring me back up. Hello spring, where have you been all my life?! :)

I seem to have abandoned my menu planning - both in blogging and in life. Ha. My menu board in my kitchen still reads the last week in Feb. Perhaps again some day soon.

My Lenten Devotion

With the coming of Lent this year (yes I realize that we have been in the season of lent for almost 2 weeks now) I've had many people talk to me about what their lenten sacrifice would be this year, and in return, have asked me what I was planning on giving up. Growing up as a cradle catholic, I've been in the routine of always "giving something up" for lent, but it hasn't been until what I'm calling my "more mature years" that I've really put some thought into the sacrifices we give during lent and why.

The "why" was never really a point of reflection for me in years past, but I believe that its a very important question to ask. Why give up this specific thing; chocolate, Mt. Dew, speeding while driving, swearing, etc... Why that specific thing, and what purpose will it fulfill being absent from your life? The more I think about this, the more I'm convinced that its not enough to pick something that will be difficult for you to live without, but that we should find something that will be more meaningful, helping us get closer to God and strengthen our relationship with Him.

I've struggled with this for the last couple weeks, and on praying about it, I've decided that working on my prayer life will be my lenten goal this year. I received in the mail from my church a handy little booklet with daily meditations on scripture for lent, and my plan is to read those with the corresponding scripture, and then blog about it here - this will serve a double purpose (hopefully), and get me blogging more habitually, as well as deepen my relationship with God and preparing myself for Jesus' coming for Easter.

I know its Sunday evening, but I figure, why wait till tomorrow to start my growth?! :) So here we go. . . . . . .

Sunday March 20, 2011 - Second Sunday of Lent

Today's meditation speaks about the responsorial psalm, "The Lord is my light and my salvation, of whom should I be afraid," (Psalm 33: 4-5) and we are asked to repeat this to ourselves a few times..."Savor it. Let it sink in." Too often I sit through mass without letting God's word sink into my soul and settle within me. This is especially true when I'm leading music worship for the mass. I get caught up in which mass part should be sung next, which hymn will need to be up and ready, and as with any performance, nerves set in and I worry about messing something up. I've been trying to make a habit of praying before mass especially for my focus on the words, and the actual worship I am leading, and that it not be simply routine (when catholics get a bad rap for monotonous, boring and very robot-like church services, I think its because we allow ourselves to settle into the routine of it and not listen for the beauty of God's word in the mass - but that's a conversation for another day).

My meditation also compares listening to God during mass this way: "We simply listen to God speak to us. It's like sitting in the sun." I could relate to this completely, for I absolutely LOVE sitting in the sun and soaking up the warm rays of a beautiful day, and once I read this I immediately pictured myself laying in the sunshine and smiling, in check with my many thoughts. In the future, I hope to remember this analogy and allow myself to close my eyes and bask in the glory and wonder of my Father's words, and what He wants to say to me in our quiet time together!

Psalm 33 is simple, yet reassuring. "The Lord is my light and my salvation, of whom should I be afraid?" As I put myself to sleep tonight, Lord settle within my heart and let your promises embed deep within me. If I seek you, Father, as my light and my love, fear of the unknown or of the enemy or of despair will never bring me down.